King's Daughter's Kitchen

I’ll sleep. I heard from the District Attorney on Friday. After six years of arrests, covid, retiring judges, and backlogged cases, my two year old granddaughter’s murderers go to trial in February. Screaming her name when I wake up from nightmares will stop because I will get to speak for her out loud. The rest is up to God, who is my warrior and guards with an angel army.

I’ll also be a free widow and free to speak my mind. My husband has had Lewy Body Dementia for a few years and is in a locked memory care unit now and progressing rapidly. I don’t wish this ugly mind-destroying disease on anyone. While my husband is with us, and for the sake of my families’ feelings, they ask me to pretend that 35 years of abuse did not happen. In three years, I can be 100% real. For now, except for my lady counselor, my sisters, and two neighbor lady friends, no one knows outside of our blog share what happened to me. God is holding me in all of it.

I will be completely deaf and will live in a cottage in assisted living near my son while I am learning skills I will need with help to return to the community. I will have help to gather support, resources, and materials together to live alone as a deaf, differently -abled person. I have some  connections now, but I need to do the learning and the personal work. Menieres and Lupus are quickly taking my hearing. I will try a choclear implant first. Sign language is a whole new world to me. The time and many supports the specific assisted living has for me will help me to conquer the tasks and my fears.

I will be a new free me in a   supportive place with the same steady, loving God.